Let’s Challenge the System
Do you have a list of baby names in your notes app? Or a secret Pinterest board with decorated nurseries and tips for motherhood that you want to keep track of? I know it may feel embarrassing but I promise you, you’re not alone!
I have a question though, if you have this desire for motherhood one day but only go as far as daydreaming about it, what’s keeping you from taking the next step and intentionally preparing?
If your answer is you’re afraid to jinx it or feel a sense of shame in preparing for something that’s nowhere on the horizon, I get it! Now, if you said that you have no idea where to start, you might be happy to know you’re not alone with that thought either! So many women are in your same exact phase, and unfortunately most of the time, they don’t get the opportunity to benefit from laying a solid foundation prior to their motherhood journey’s beginning.
As a labor and delivery nurse, doula, and new mom, if I could give you one word of wisdom: intentionality is NOT desperation, it’s wisdom! I was so incredibly grateful for the ways that single and childless Imani looked out for Mommy Imani, and I wish every woman could say the same thing for themselves!
So let’s challenge the system.. Here’s why preparing for motherhood before marriage or any relationship is NOT too early!
Separate Readiness from Relationship Status
Let’s start by saying what needs to be said: your relationship status is NOT tied to you preparing for motherhood. We’re talking about the deep and complex aspects of you that are directly related to how you’d be affected by pregnancy and mothering. Preparing well is way more than the physical process that we automatically think of when we say motherhood.
So many of us are told to wait until the “right time” to start thinking about motherhood. The “right time” often sounds like after:
- marriage
- hitting a certain career milestone
- a savings goal
- you’ve got it all figured out
But the reality is… becoming a mom is so much more about identity than it is about an arbitrary timeline. Your motherhood journey doesn’t start when you see two pink lines. It starts the moment you say, “I want to set my future self up for success. I want to prepare now.”
You are already cultivating the mindset, habits, and heart of a mother when you:
- Choose to nourish your body now
- Begin working through childhood experiences, trauma, or past fears
- Ask God to lead you in stewarding your future family
- Care deeply about how you want to show up in motherhood
That’s identity work. That’s the deep-rooted preparation no due date can define. Plans can shift. Situations and circumstances can change. But your becoming is already in motion. And the beauty of that? You don’t have to rush or prove anything to anyone.
You can be becoming… even as you wait. Even as you heal. Even as you hope.
Tangible Ways to Prepare Now
- Building a support network, professional and personal
- Educate yourself about your cycle and the process your body would go through
- Starting therapy or emotional healing
- Financial literacy + insurance basics
- Building healthy habits and detoxing the bad ones
Want Deeper Support?
It may not seem important or even relevant now, but those small shifts make a massive ripple effect that your future self will feel. I invite you to release the concept of timelines and embrace the overall pursuit of stewardship today.
If you want somewhere to start, check out my free guide to choosing the right provider in the pre-pregnancy season. Now, if you’re thinking “I need Imani on my support team”, let’s talk and see if we’d fit well together! I offer 1:1 preconception coaching services (both local in Atlanta or virtual), if you want that personal touch to this special journey.
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